IMTIREDOFTHINKING [Aug 16, 1983]

Hi cocksuckers!! You remind me of the inside of my rectum after an enjoyable 15 minute session of acute diahrrea.

Ah yes, how good it feels to reminisce of days gone by, to bring back the wonderfulness and contentedness of the past. Up my ass.

I am severely disappointed in myself, having failed to succeed in the most important of life-matters: the inability to come and piss simultaneously. God only knows how often I've tried, the endless hours of futility and pain in this room, the shattering realization of the impossibility of the act.

I find it increasingly difficult to out-pervert myself. I have been forced to remove one of my testicles, and insert it most deviously into the family pickle jar, from whence it has disappeared into the beloved stomachs of my family members.

I can't help but noticing how my philosophical boundaries have developed and expanded, causing every word I speak or write to be immediately considered a treasured pearl of infinite wisdom. But such is intelligence and greatness, my friends, such is the nature of your most revered and admired and sought-after leader - your one and only Marc.

I have commissioned an expert team of architects and sculptors to erect a 120-foot statue of my likeness on the summit of Mt-Royal, at the same time deplacing and replacing that no-good ancient artifact of an excuse for a gaudy cross. The beautiful finished structure will be adorned with the internal light of rare gems and precious metals.

Hundreds of famous authors assault the doors of my abode daily, clamouring and begging to be chosen for the task of my autobiographist. I gaily cast them the fluttering remains of my used kleenex, and they hasten away, absorbed in the enormity of their new found treasure.

Samples of my stool have been auctioned off for thousands of dollars in charity auctions, and my urine is considered a life-giving elixir to many, who not only include it in their diet by drinking a few expensive millilitres daily, but also inject it intravenously, a high that is believed to be a hundred fold that given by high-concentration heroin.

Aaah. Need I continue ? Have you, dear reader, finally grasped the implied message recorded in such splendour here ? I hope not, that I may continue on. Oh. You've had quite enough I see. Very well, 'til tomorrow then. Cheerio.